madlori:

I’ve been an Uber driver for 3.5 years. I’ve taken almost 1800 trips. Everyone asks if I’ve had any crazy or horrible experiences and…no, not really. I’ve driven plenty of drunk people but 99% of them are mildly drunk, not falling-down-puking drunk. I’ve had a few trivially rude people but never anyone hostile or threatening. I’ve been mildly flirted with a few times but nothing too creepy. Most people are fine.

What I can share is the many ways you, as an Uber rider, can make your driver’s night a little better.

1. For God’s sake, don’t call until you’re ready to go. Don’t assume your driver will take 15 minutes to arrive. The nearest driver to you will get your call, but they could be 5 miles away or they could be around the corner. BE READY. I used to wait for riders but unless I get a text from you telling me you’re coming out, I wait two minutes and then I’m deadass outta there. Time is money when you’re Ubering. Making me wait a long time is one of the few things that will get me to give a rider less than 5 stars (my default rating).
   
2. Tip. Uber has made it very easy to tip. It doesn’t have a to be a lot, but an extra buck or two really adds up.
3. For the love of God, five stars. Like most customer ratings systems, the five star system is fucked up and basically boils down to “5 stars = fine, anything else = this driver should be drug out back and shot.” If your drive was especially awesome, leave a comment or a compliment. They’ll appreciate it.
4. Don’t call a regular Uber when you have 6 people. Most standard Ubers can take 4. I refuse to cram in more people than I have seatbelts, regardless of whether they use them. Call an Uber XL if you have more, or call more than one car.
5. I don’t control surge pricing. At all.
6. Don’t give me directions. I have GPS. Basically don’t mansplain driving to me. I’m a professional.
7. Exception: if there is something weird about the way GPS directs to your location that you know about (this happens all the time), give me a heads-up.
8. Similarly, if there is something odd about the pickup location that you’re aware of (like the GPS always directs to this weird alley when the pickup is actually on the main road) shoot me a text, it’s appreciated.
9. PLEASE check where the GPS has you located. Sometimes it’s not accurate. And inputting a street address doesn’t always give the correct location (this is an issue with my own address). Make sure the GPS pin is actually where you are - you can move the pin to reflect your real location. If there is a discrepancy between your pinned location and the street address, shoot the driver a text clarifying where you are, or turn on the live location, that’s useful.
10. Clarification texts are always appreciated. If you are somewhere busy with lots of stores/restaurants/etc, a quick text saying “We’re in front of Mike’s Bar” or whatever is very helpful. A lot of people lately have been using the “I’m holding up my phone with a green light” thing, which is also helpful.
11. If you ask your driver to stop at a gas station so you can get smokes or ESPECIALLY to take you through a drive-thru, TIP THEM EXTRA. We do get paid per-minute and per-mile, but the per-minute rate is MUCH less than the per-mile rate, so every minute we wait for your ass outside a UDF or sit in a drive-thru is time we’re not driving riders at the per-mile rate. We’re losing money by doing this for you, so some extra $$ will help. A good guideline is to tip an extra $1 for every 5 minutes you take up.
12. I can’t speak for other drivers but I don’t personally care if you sit in front or in back, but it’s nice to ask first.
13. Don’t ask me for an Aux cord. I learned that lesson the hard way. I might consider bringing up some requested music on Spotify for you - I took a couple to a Rainbow Kitten Surprise concert the other night and was happy to play their songs for the drive - but no fucking way am I giving you control of my sound system.
14. If you see that your driver has spent 10 minutes or more driving to pick you up, and you are only going half a mile, TIP THEM EXTRA. There is nothing more infuriating than coming a long-ass way for a fare only to drive them around the block. It isn’t the rider’s fault - they can’t control where I am when I get the call - but that’s just polite. This is less infuriating since Uber instituted a long pickup fee - essentially we get extra money for coming a longer-than-average distance for a fare, but it’s still frustrating.
15. Tip extra if it’s a holiday, a very busy part of town (read: annoying to drive in) or bad weather.
16. Don’t puke in your Uber. Please.